Truth: What we know
- Alby is a female. This is proven. She has had 2
litters since this squirrel quest began.
- Alby is a true albino, not just a white squirrel. She has
red eyes, and the gene is recessive - both sets of kids have included
mostly grey babies.
- There are other albino squirrels around campus. I
have seen 2 different squirrels, one living near the Union and the
other, the squirrel I call Alby and who knows me, who lives in between
Sage and Lally. There have also been confirmed roadkills of albino
squirrels in the area.
The Rumors and Lies: What we suspect is falsehood, but we can't
disprove any of it.
- Alby is the leader of a group, or "gang" of squirrels.
The Albino Gang
submitted by Jim Lewis
I have actually seen gangs of albino squirrels, wearing tiny leather
jackets, menacing other squirrels. they wave tiny blades at them, then
light up pine needles and make some sort of formation as they "dance"
from side to side across the campus, chirping something to the tune of
"When you're a Jet, you're a Jet all the way"
Honest to God, I was so scared. But then when I got home I thought
there might be a movie or something in it.
Editor's note: I believe that Alby commands not only the other
albino squirrels, but also the grey squirrels in the area.
Alby's squirrely minions very well may have been responsible for
painting this campus garbage can, their way of "marking their turf".
I apologize to those of you who have sent me articles about Alby that I
didn't post online. It was through my own sheer laziness, plus my
courseload. I no longer am encumbered with RPI, so I can now
devote my time to my squirrel lords. I will obey their bidding and
upload any stories of squirreldom that you provide. --the WebBitch